Prepping a Pineapple

I’m a horrible person. I go on vacation and just forget this blog exists…

Okay, not really. I was mostly just prioritizing sleep over blogging. But not today! (Because today I prioritize sleep over TV-watching.)

So I was in Hawaii. And, as evidenced by my last post, I was freaked the eff out. The flights were awful, as expected (one even more awful than expected, so that was fun), but my friends/compatriots/travelmates helped me through it. Obviously the vacation was worth it. Memories made and all that jazz.

Things I learned while I was away:

  1. I don’t like fish. I mean, I already knew this, but every time I go to a place that is known for its killer seafood, I always try it again just to make sure. Still a big no thanks on that one.
  2. Sometimes, when you think you’re about to die of starvation because you were preparing for a giant all-you-can-eat feast on a boat and then your trip gets cancelled, nothing beats some handmade chips and salsa from that shady dive bar down the street.
  3. It really isn’t fair that there are some people in this world who just get to look out their window and see sea turtles. And then they can look a little farther out their window and see whales. I was one of those people for like half an hour, and you don’t even understand what it was like. It’s just a good thing there weren’t any dolphins in the mix or I would have fainted on the spot.
  4. Beaches are super amazing. That one isn’t very profound or creative, but it’s still true.

Speaking of #5, I learned how to properly cut a pineapple while I was gone! And we made sure to document it for your viewing pleasure.

Step 1: Find a pineapple.

This was way harder than I imagined it would be because I haven’t yet memorized all of those random how-to-know-if-this-one-fruit-is-ripe rules. Is it supposed to be squishy or hard? What color do we want? Should it smell like anything? Eventually we just went for it.

Pineapple 1

Step 2: Start cutting off the hard, non-edible parts. 

Sometimes it’s pretty rough work. Also, that knife is kind of sharp, and I don’t know where the emergency room is, so please don’t stab yourself.

The professor took one half:

Pineapple 2

And I took the other:

Pineapple 3

Step 3: Cut into delicious grillable pineapple rings.

Again, please don’t cut yourself because the ER is at least, like, a 30-minute drive.

Pineapple 4

Step 4: GRILL IT. 

There are no pictures of this, as we basically demolished the pineapple in seconds flat. Also, was seriously tempted to wear that pineapple topper as a hat.


One thought on “Prepping a Pineapple

  1. Deb

    Things I learned from this post:

    (1) You don’t need to cut out the middle part of a pineapple when grilling it. Next time I grill a pineapple, this will be very helpful.
    (2) You prefer sleep to TV. (Can I consider that an interblog allusion?) Also, I fell asleep to Frasier last night, so apparently I do, too.
    (3) Blogs are possible even after you shower.

    P.S. To add to your ripe-or-not-ripe discussion, I was told (by a sheet of paper claiming to be from Hawaii) that once a pineapple is picked, it’s at its best, so you shouldn’t wait to eat it. Das ist all.

    Also, sea turtles!


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